Landan’s Story

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We watched the whole thing. I'll never forget that for the rest of my life.

Landan was one of the sweetest little boys around, anyone who knew him would tell you that.

I lost my son Landan, 3 on Nov 16, 2006 to meningococcal meningitis. It was also in his blood stream. He was my only child at the time. Now he’s my oldest & a big brother.

Everything started on Tuesday November 14th. Landan was acting crabby so my husband (Landan’s stepfather) put him down for a nap. He only slept about an hour & was still crabby when he got up. He was touching his throat so I asked if his throat hurt and he said yes. He was still acting crabby and tired so I thought he had a cold, I went out to the store and got him some childrens tylenol and motrin. Landan slept in the living room off and on for the rest of the day until I took him to bed in my room around 9:30-10pm. I gave him more motrin at 2am and he woke up at 3am and asked for more juice, then at 6am I woke up, saw his juice was gone, asked if he wanted more and he said yes so I refilled his cup.

At 9am I woke up to find Landan laying on the floor next to my bed covered in, what looked to me, like bruises. I sat up straight in bed and frantically tried to focus my eyes because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I thought he was dead, I was so afraid to touch him. I called my mom and then 911. When the paramedics arrived they knew he was sick so took him out to the ambulence. We took him to the best hospital in the area. The last thing Landan said to me while we were in the ER before they took him up to the PICU was “Mama hold me” but I couldn’t because they needed to get him up to the PICU as soon as they could. We followed him up, and I remember my mom asking the doctor on the way up if he was going to be ok, and he said something like “… he’s a very sick little boy …”

We waited in the waiting room down the hall from the PICU for about an hour. Before the doctor came down they sent a chaplin in to talk to us, my mom knew then that he was really sick. The PICU doctor came in shortly and told us Landan had bacterial meningitis and it was a 90% mortality rate.

We were finally allowed in to see Landan. We had to be in almost full scrubs. We had to wear masks, gloves, everything. His left foot was completely purple, his back, and nose as well. His other extremities were very splotchy purple. All this was cause by someone called “DIC” which is where the body bleeds and clots at the same time, because he had septicemia. If Landan would have survived he would have had several amputations and most likely plastic surgery for his nose. But selfishly we would have taken him any way we could just to have him here with us.

Landan fought for 23 hrs at the hospital induring three hyperbaric chamber treatments. The treatments were helping to bring back color to the purple areas, because it forces oxygen into the blood and tissues. They said it was a miracle he lasted as long as he did, thats why our hopes here high.

Landan’s little heart of gold finally couldn’t take anymore and he went into cardiac arrest. We watched them doing chest compressions and then the doctor told us he was gone.

It happened so fast. I stepped out of the PICU for a minute to take a phone call & update my friend because his blood pressure had just went back up. My dad & step mom came running out and told me I need to get back into the PICU right away. I asked my dad as we were walking back in what happend and he told me Landan’s heart had stopped and they were doing chest compressions. Like I said we watched the whole thing, I’ll never forget that for the rest of my life. We got to hold Landan for 5 hours after he was gone. They finally told us it was time to go, I think they know we would have never left. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to say goodbye to their child. Landan died on Thursday November 16th

My baby was laid to rest on Tuesday, November 21st, which is exactly a month to the day that he was a ring bearer, and walked me down the aisle in my wedding. I still can’t believe he’s gone (and it’s been 10 months at this point.) I wish I would have taken him to the hospital the night before but I thought he just had a cold. I miss him so much and wish I could still recieve his hugs and kisses.

I think I’m still in shock. When the doctor told me he was gone I couldn’t even cry at that moment. I remember thinking in my head that this can’t be real. I didn’t cry until I held my bebe in my arms. I feel so alone without him, I just dont know what to do. I prayed everynight that God would take me before Landan. I even prayed the night he first was sick that he would feel better in the morning. I’m not really mad at God, but I just don’t understand, I unselfishly prayed every night to keep my baby safe. I loved Landan so much! I dont understand why God would take him from a mother that always loved him. Im just frustrated and scared. I just wish I knew how long I will have to suffer in this life without him.

~Landan’s Mama, Lacey~

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